Stop managing meetings. Start designing them.
We’ve all been in meetings where the conversation feels stilted, unproductive, or plain unnecessary. Sometimes it’s because there’s too much control. For example:
The meeting begins with a clear purpose, but the framing misses what matters and there’s no room to reframe as the conversation shifts.
The session aims for a specific outcome, but the timeline is too tight or the right voices aren’t in the room.
The facilitator sticks to a rigid agenda, even as the group’s energy points elsewhere.
Other times, it’s a lack of cohesion that leaves the group adrift, unsure of its purpose or direction. For example:
The invitation is vague, leaving participants unclear on why they’re there or what they’re meant to contribute.
The conversation jumps between topics without a throughline, making it hard to know what matters or how decisions will be made.
Big ideas emerge, but there’s no clear path to turn them into action.
In either case, the outcome is rarely the insight, collaboration, or innovation we hoped for.
From Control & Confusion to Cohesion
Creating the conditions for meaningful conversation in complex environments requires a careful balance between structure and flexibility. In such contexts, processes must be adaptive enough to respond to shifting patterns, yet grounded enough to hold focus and direction. The goal isn't to control the conversation, but to foster an environment where engagement and exchange can lead to real insight. The Chaordic Stepping Stones framework provides a design approach that supports this balance. I was introduced to it through the work of Chris Corrigan, whose thinking on dialogue and participatory design have had a lasting impact on my facilitation practice.
The Chaordic Stepping Stones Framework
The stepping stones follow a progression of groundwork, inviting, implementing, and structuring. Here is a quick description of each stepping stone:
Necessity: What is the compelling reason to gather? What's important right now?
Purpose: What is possible through our work? What stories do we want more of?
People: Who needs to be a part of this work?
Principles: How will we work together?
Outputs: What tangible outputs do we need from this work? Intangible outputs?
Architecture of Implementation: What resources, capacity, and relationships will sustain the work after this meeting?
Concept: What is a good high-level approach to addressing our need and purpose?
Limiting Beliefs: What assumptions or fears are we bringing to this work? What are other perspectives we might take?
Structure: What form will this work take? What logistics do we need to consider?
Working through these stepping stones creates a meeting design that balances intention with emergence. The framework provides enough structure to keep everyone aligned while creating space for the unexpected insights that make gatherings truly valuable.
Putting the Framework into Practice
I recently used the Chaordic Stepping Stones to design a focus group for a client seeking feedback on an important strategic vision. As we worked through each stepping stone, our understanding of the previous ones deepened as well. The planning process itself wasn’t linear or fixed. It unfolded as the client’s needs and context became clearer. The stones didn’t impose control. Instead, they offered the cohesion needed to design a gathering that was responsive to the client’s evolving reality.
When we prioritize cohesion over control, we trust the process and the people in it.
Start Your Journey to Better Meetings
The next time you find yourself planning a meeting or other gathering, consider starting with these questions:
What is the necessity for bringing people together?
How might you create structure that enables rather than constrains?
Where can you build in flexibility while maintaining focus?
Great meeting facilitators don't dictate outcomes. They create and hold the container while trusting participants to fill it with what matters most. In practical terms, they create clear structures and processes that enable groups to contribute meaningful insights and make decisions that move work forward.
