Stop managing meetings. Start designing them.
We’ve all been in meetings that feel stilted, unproductive, or plain unnecessary. Sometimes, the issue is too much control. For example:
The meeting starts with a clear purpose, but it misses what’s really going on that needs attention.
The session has a goal in mind, but the timeline is too tight or the right voices aren’t in the room.
The facilitator rigidly sticks to the agenda, even as the group’s energy and insight moves elsewhere.
Other times, a lack of cohesion leaves the group adrift, unsure of the meeting’s purpose or direction. For example:
The reason for it is vague. Participants don’t know why they are there or what’s expected.
The conversation jumps between topics and it’s hard to know what matters or how decisions will be made.
Big ideas surface, but there’s no pathway to turn them into action.
In both cases, the result is rarely the insight, collaboration, or innovation we hoped for.
From Control & Confusion to Cohesion
Designing meaningful meetings about complex topics requires a balance of structure and flexibility. Meeting routines must be flexible enough to respond to shifting patterns, yet structured enough to maintain focus and momentum. The goal isn't to control the conversation, but to create the conditions where engagement and exchange can lead to real insight.
The Chaordic Stepping Stones framework helps strike this balance. I was introduced to it through the work of Chris Corrigan, whose thinking on dialogue and participatory design have had a lasting impact on my facilitation practice.
The Chaordic Stepping Stones Framework
This approach moves through phases of groundwork, inviting, implementing, and structuring. Here is a quick description of each stepping stone:
Necessity: What is the compelling reason to gather? What's important right now?
Purpose: What is possible through our work? What stories do we want more of?
People: Who needs to be a part of this work?
Principles: How will we work together?
Outputs: What tangible outputs do we need from this work? Intangible outputs?
Architecture of Implementation: What resources, capacity, and relationships will sustain the work after this meeting?
Concept: What is a good high-level approach to addressing our need and purpose?
Limiting Beliefs: What assumptions or fears are we bringing to this work? What are other perspectives we might take?
Structure: What form will this work take? What logistics do we need to consider?
Working through these stepping stones creates a meeting design with enough structure to keep everyone aligned while creating space for the insights that make meetings valuable.
Putting the Framework into Practice
I recently used the Chaordic Stepping Stones to design a focus group for a client seeking feedback on an important strategic vision. As we worked through each stepping stone, our understanding of the previous ones deepened as well. The planning process wasn’t linear or fixed. It evolved as the client’s needs got clearer. The stones didn’t impose control. Instead, they offered the cohesion needed to design a focus group that allowed facilitators to respond real-time to the group’s needs and contributions.
When we prioritize cohesion over control, we trust the process and the people in it.
Start Your Journey to Better Meetings
The next time you find yourself planning a meeting or other gathering, consider starting with these questions:
What is the necessity for bringing people together?
How might you create structure that enables rather than constrains?
Where can you build in flexibility while maintaining focus?
Skilled meeting facilitators don't dictate outcomes. They create clear processes and hold space for participants to contribute what matters most so that real progress can happen.
My daughter choosing stepping stones across a river.
